You can have a healthy baby and yet feel like your childbirth process was traumatic.
Childbirth is one of the most important moments in a woman’s life. However, even when the outcome is a healthy baby, many mothers feel that their childbirth experience was traumatic. Has this happened to you? You’re not alone. More than 45% of first-time mothers describe their experience as traumatic, and their feelings are entirely valid.
A Healthy Baby Doesn’t Erase a Traumatic Birth Experience
It’s common to hear comments like, “The important thing is that the baby is healthy,” but this statement can minimise what a mother went through during childbirth. While the baby’s wellbeing is, of course, a priority, the mother’s emotional and physical wellbeing is equally important. A traumatic birth doesn’t always mean there was a severe emergency; it can be a single moment where your experience, autonomy, or choices weren’t respected.
A common example is an episiotomy performed without informed consent or a clear medical need. These moments can have a lasting impact on how mothers perceive their birth experience and how they cope with life after the birth.
The Importance of Respecting the Mother During Childbirth
Childbirth is not just the arrival of the baby. It’s a transformative experience for the mother, a time when her body and mind work in harmony with her child to bring them into the world. What happens if this experience isn’t respected? It can leave emotional scars that affect not only the postpartum period but also future birth experiences and how the mother relates to herself and those around her.
A respected birth is one where the mother is heard, given control over her body and choices, and her autonomy is honoured. This includes receiving informed consent, understanding all available options, and feeling supported at every moment.
Tips to Avoid a Traumatic Childbirth
Fortunately, there are ways to prepare to minimise the possibility of a traumatic birth. Here are some key tips:
- Hire a doula and/or midwife: Having a doula, midwife, or health professional who supports your decisions can make a big difference. They will help you defend your autonomy during childbirth. If you live in Barcelona, I know doulas and midwives I can recommend! Here are links to two amazing midwives I know: Krishinda and Mahault.
- Take a childbirth preparation course: Avoid standard hospital courses that often don’t cover all options. Look for a comprehensive course that gives you a broad understanding of what your birth can be like. I also recommend the book Well Adjusted Babies by Jennifer Floreani.
- Write your birth plan: Between weeks 25 and 28 of pregnancy, write down your birth preferences and discuss them with your doctor. If you feel your doctor doesn’t respect your decisions, consider finding a new one. Make copies of your birth plan and ensure your partner also knows it well, so they can advocate for you and the baby if necessary.
- Prepare your body and mind: Don’t go into labour unprepared. No one will care as much about your experience as you do, so inform yourself and prepare both your mind and body. A chiropractor specialising in pregnancy can help take care of your spine, pelvis, and nervous system so you arrive at birth in the best possible shape. If you live in Barcelona, contact me for more information!
The Impact of a Traumatic Childbirth on Postpartum
A traumatic childbirth doesn’t just affect the mother at the time of birth but can have repercussions on her daily life, her relationship with her partner, and her next birth experience. Mothers who have had a traumatic experience need emotional support, understanding, and sometimes even professional help to overcome the impact of those moments.
Remember, your birth experience matters. It’s not just about having a healthy baby; it’s about honouring the journey you’ve undertaken to bring your child into the world.